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Cat: Where..?-- I know I've got it around here somewhere! Dog! Dog, have you seen my ice skates?

(Dog shakes his head "No")

Cat: What are you eating?

(Dog spits out the rest of the ice skates)

Cat: I can't believe this..

Dog: Found your skates!

Cat: Eww....

Dunglap: CatDog! You've got to help me!

Dog: What's the matter Dunglap?

Dunglap: I didn't finish my homework, school starts in five minutes Mrs. Grock is going to kill me!

Cat: Oh, Mrs. Grock! Wasn't she the one with the ruler?

Dunglap: That's her, but she uses a whip now! I'd give anything to get out of this fix!

Cat: I smell genius! (Laughing) Mr. D, worry no more, for the small fee of 25 simoleons all your problems will be solved! Money back guarantee.

Dunglap: You sure this will work?

Cat: Never you mind. On your merry way Dunglap, my boy. Toddle off to school and leave everything to me! Dog, I've had another one of my brilliant ideas!

Dog: Oh boy!

Mrs. Grock: Time to turn in your homework! And you'd better have it.....or else!

Dunglap: That darn cat--Ripped me off! 25 bucks down the drain.

Mrs. Grock: Dunglap, where's your homework?

Dunglap: Uh....um....

Mrs. Grock: Looks like someone is going to be whipped... and expelled.

Dunglap: It's, um....

Dog: Hi Ho Diggity!

Dunglap: A dog ate my homework!

Mrs. Grock: Now that's an excuse! How about i give....

(Cuts paper into A+)

(Kids cheering)

Dunglap: Alright!

(Phones ringing)

Cat: A dog ate it inc. hold, please. Dog ate it, Hablamos espanol. Dog ate it, I think he could eat that. (Laughing) Dog, we hit the jackpot!

Man (With a French accent): Attention students, time for the souffle special. Excellent job on your homework.

Kid: A dog ate my homework!

(Orchestra playing)

Man (with a German accent): Wunderbar! You all did your homework! Aah!

(Orchestra stops playing)

Boy: A dog ate my homework!

(Others cheering)

Teacher: Homework is now due!

Boy: A dog ate my homework!

Cat: Dog, we're rich! Look at this collection of Franklins! 100, 200, 300. Mr. Franklin, you are one good-looking guy.

Dog: Cat...

Cat: What? What?

Dog: I was thinking; shouldn't people do their homework?

Cat: Not if they have a good excuse

Dog: Oh!

(Helicopter whirring above)

Cat: Did you hear that?

Guard: Area secured- bring out the president.

Rancid: Ok, here's the deal. I didn't do my homework for this big state of the union speech so i need your help. All I've got so far is "Four score and seven years ago." What do you think? It feels like it's been done before.

Dog: You didn't do your homework, Mr. President?

Rancid: Oh, it's those darn video games -- I'm hooked on them.

Cat: It will be an honor to help you, Mr. President.

Rancid: I'll pay you bug bucks. So what? Next year we cut back on the schools and hospitals.

Cat: (Sniffing a bag of money)

Rancid: See you tomorrow at the Capitol. Be on time, or you'll do time.

(Helicopter whirring)

Cat: Dog, now we've really hit the jackpot.

Dog: Cat, I feel weird. My paws are sweaty and my throat is dry and I feel nauseous.

Cat: All right, fine, fine. Let me see, uh.. Ooh! (laughing) Probably just too much homework, but you can't get sick now-- You've got my biggest job of the year coming up.

(Transition)

Mr. Sunshine: This dog is 100% a-okay.

Dog: but I feel so bad, doctor.

Cat: He said you're fine. Come on, let's go.

Mr. Sunshine: Of course, it could be a moral crisis. Something bothering you? Conscience troubles?

Dog: Uh... now that you mention it...

Cat: Thanks, Dog, I'm late, too bad I have to go. I have a date with the president.

Mr. Sunshine: Who doesn't?

(Transition)

Randolph: Hello world. The commander in chief is about to make his most important speech ever, and I love it.

Rancid: Where is that mangy mutt?

Guard: Not here, sir. And you have to go on.

Rancid: Testing, testing.

(Feedback whines)

Rancid: One, two, three. (Blows) uh, four, (Laughs nervously) uh, five... six... seven... Mary had a little lamb. Eight.

(Transition)

Dog: Are we doing a good thing, Cat? If people don't do their homework how will they get smarterer?

Cat: Dog, Dog, Dog. The world needs stupid people. They're like society's glue. You know, stupid glue.

(Transition)

Rancid: 303, 304, 305...

Crowd: Speech, speech, speech!

Rancid: All right, all right. Four score and seven years ago...

(Booing loudly)

Lady: We've already heard it!

Rancid: Okay. How about five score and six years ago?

(Crowd boos angrily)

Rancid: Well, then... (Singing) Tea for two and two for tea.

(Booing continues)

Rancid: (Still singing) Tea for two and two for tea.

Man: This is the most embarrassing thing I've ever seen a president do.

Another man: You're, uh... new here, right?

Man: (Gasps)

Guard: CatDog at 2'o clock.

Cat: Coming through! Excuse me! Make way!

Rancid: Oh, thank goodness! now it's time for my speech. Got it right here, see?

Dog: Cat, I don't think I can do this.

Cat: Well, then don't think, just eat.

Dog: No, I quit! My homework eating days are over.

Cat: Dog, Dog! Do it for the President. Do it for the country. Do it for the money.

Dog: No, no and no!

Rancid: Come on, come on. Come on!

(Crowd shouting)

Cat: If you want something done right, you got to do it yourself.

(Crash; crowd quiets)

Cat: (Munching noisily, gagging, gulping) Aah! Oh, man

Rancid: A cat ate my homework.

(Cricket chirping amid stillness)

Man: A cat?!

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