Cat: Where..?-- I know I've got it around here somewhere! Dog! Dog, have you seen my ice skates?
(Dog shakes his head "No")
Cat: What are you eating?
(Dog spits out the rest of the ice skates)
Cat: I can't believe this..
Dog: Found your skates!
Dunglap: CatDog! You've got to help me!
Dog: What's the matter Dunglap?
Dunglap: I didn't finish my homework, school starts in five minutes Mrs. Grock is going to kill me!
Cat: Oh, Mrs. Grock! Wasn't she the one with the ruler?
Dunglap: That's her, but she uses a whip now! I'd give anything to get out of this fix!
Cat: I smell genius! (Laughing) Mr. D, worry no more, for the small fee of 25 simoleons all your problems will be solved! Money back guarantee.
Dunglap: You sure this will work?
Cat: Never you mind. On your merry way Dunglap, my boy. Toddle off to school and leave everything to me! Dog, I've had another one of my brilliant ideas!
Dog: Oh boy!
Mrs. Grock: Time to turn in your homework! And you'd better have it.....or else!
Dunglap: That darn cat--Ripped me off! 25 bucks down the drain.
Mrs. Grock: Dunglap, where's your homework?
Mrs. Grock: Looks like someone is going to be whipped... and expelled.
Dunglap: It's, um....
Dog: Hi Ho Diggity!
Dunglap: A dog ate my homework!
Mrs. Grock: Now that's an excuse! How about i give....
(Cuts paper into A+)
Cat: A dog ate it inc. hold, please. Dog ate it, Hablamos espanol. Dog ate it, I think he could eat that. (Laughing) Dog, we hit the jackpot!
Man (With a French accent): Attention students, time for the souffle special. Excellent job on your homework.
Kid: A dog ate my homework!
Man (with a German accent): Wunderbar! You all did your homework! Aah!
(Orchestra stops playing)
Boy: A dog ate my homework!
Teacher: Homework is now due!
Boy: A dog ate my homework!
Cat: Dog, we're rich! Look at this collection of Franklins! 100, 200, 300. Mr. Franklin, you are one good-looking guy.
Cat: What? What?
Dog: I was thinking; shouldn't people do their homework?
Cat: Not if they have a good excuse
(Helicopter whirring above)
Cat: Did you hear that?
Guard: Area secured- bring out the president.
Rancid: Ok, here's the deal. I didn't do my homework for this big state of the union speech so i need your help. All I've got so far is "Four score and seven years ago." What do you think? It feels like it's been done before.
Dog: You didn't do your homework, Mr. President?
Rancid: Oh, it's those darn video games -- I'm hooked on them.
Cat: It will be an honor to help you, Mr. President.
Rancid: I'll pay you bug bucks. So what? Next year we cut back on the schools and hospitals.
Cat: (Sniffing a bag of money)
Rancid: See you tomorrow at the Capitol. Be on time, or you'll do time.
Cat: Dog, now we've really hit the jackpot.
Dog: Cat, I feel weird. My paws are sweaty and my throat is dry and I feel nauseous.
Cat: All right, fine, fine. Let me see, uh.. Ooh! (laughing) Probably just too much homework, but you can't get sick now-- You've got my biggest job of the year coming up.
Mr. Sunshine: This dog is 100% a-okay.
Dog: but I feel so bad, doctor.
Cat: He said you're fine. Come on, let's go.
Mr. Sunshine: Of course, it could be a moral crisis. Something bothering you? Conscience troubles?
Dog: Uh... now that you mention it...
Cat: Thanks, Dog, I'm late, too bad I have to go. I have a date with the president.
Mr. Sunshine: Who doesn't?
Randolph: Hello world. The commander in chief is about to make his most important speech ever, and I love it.
Rancid: Where is that mangy mutt?
Guard: Not here, sir. And you have to go on.
Rancid: Testing, testing.
Rancid: One, two, three. (Blows) uh, four, (Laughs nervously) uh, five... six... seven... Mary had a little lamb. Eight.
Dog: Are we doing a good thing, Cat? If people don't do their homework how will they get smarterer?
Cat: Dog, Dog, Dog. The world needs stupid people. They're like society's glue. You know, stupid glue.
Rancid: 303, 304, 305...
Crowd: Speech, speech, speech!
Rancid: All right, all right. Four score and seven years ago...
Lady: We've already heard it!
Rancid: Okay. How about five score and six years ago?
(Crowd boos angrily)
Rancid: Well, then... (Singing) Tea for two and two for tea.
Rancid: (Still singing) Tea for two and two for tea.
Man: This is the most embarrassing thing I've ever seen a president do.
Another man: You're, uh... new here, right?
Guard: CatDog at 2'o clock.
Cat: Coming through! Excuse me! Make way!
Rancid: Oh, thank goodness! now it's time for my speech. Got it right here, see?
Dog: Cat, I don't think I can do this.
Cat: Well, then don't think, just eat.
Dog: No, I quit! My homework eating days are over.
Cat: Dog, Dog! Do it for the President. Do it for the country. Do it for the money.
Dog: No, no and no!
Rancid: Come on, come on. Come on!
Cat: If you want something done right, you got to do it yourself.
(Crash; crowd quiets)
Cat: (Munching noisily, gagging, gulping) Aah! Oh, man
Rancid: A cat ate my homework.
(Cricket chirping amid stillness)
Man: A cat?!
Man: That's no excuse!
Woman: Cats don't eat homework!
Man: You're crazy!
Cat: Can you believe that? He cheats, and we're the ones that get thrown out.
Rancid: What? What? Wha...?! Ow!
Cat: Makes you proud to be a citizen.
Dog: Well, I hope you learned your lesson: cheaters never prosper.
Rancid: Real good work, boys. I was this close to achieving world peace. Oh, well. Back to clown school.